As I was driving home one evening, I came up over the hill just before my house and suddenly noticed the gorgeous, glowing full moon staring me in the face. I was confused at first; it was so large and brilliant, I almost mistook it for the sun. Captivated by this sight, I continued driving towards it so unconsciously as if it was calling to me somehow. Once I reached the end of the road, all the trees parted into an open field and without a cloud in the sky, I could appreciate every bit of its fullness in plain view. I remember turning the corner thinking ,”I have to get closer!”…then something hit me, and I snapped back into reality with a,”wait, you can’t get any closer silly!”. I had passed my home, forgotten all the things I needed to take care of, and completely lost track of time…
This beautiful memory sums up my experiences over the past few weeks perfectly. Something wonderful grabs my attention like a calling and I surrender to it as best as I can. I experience the journey until something brings me back to reality and then continue on my way. It’s almost like I’ve been going through a full cycle of the hero’s journey every single week. The intense fluctuations in all areas of my life have been such a fantastically mind-blowing whirlwind, allowing me to practice the A LOT method: Learn, Observe, Think – as well as many other mkmma related methods. I’d like to share a little snippet of a post I began writing at a fairly angry point in the abyss one week:
We are a nation of spoiled, neurotic, greedy, insatiable, worriers…and by we I specifically mean the United States, but I’m sure this could probably span across the majority of humans currently in the world. We want more of this…gotta have that…this isn’t good enough…oh what about that?!…mine is better than yours!…oh no, what am I gonna do without this?…I need a better one!…give me this…I want that…MORE, MORE, MORE, MINE, MINE, MINE, Oh. Em. Gee. (OMG, for those of you not familiar with an elongated version :)—and ‘oh my gosh’ for those who still have no idea what that means lol!)
As you can see, I was in a very intense space (but not without a little humor)…..then I realized that although everything I said may be true, it cannot be eliminated by creating more of the things I was complaining about; it can only be eliminated by creating more L-O-V-E. When I emerged from this, I was lead down a path that I first ventured after reading a great post by a fellow MKMMAer. A huge thank you to Maria for setting off the chain reaction of this discovery! We focus a ton on the mind – our brains, and that’s important…but there is 1 thing that’s also just as important if not more, and that is the heart. Here lies the treasure in my chest (with an ‘x marks the spot’ by the cross around my neck!)
I was drawn to a fairly new book called The Power of the Heart by Baptist de Pape while browsing the library a few weeks ago. Baptist shares a very inspirational story of how the idea of this book came about and the amazing journey he took to create it. It’s a fairly quick read, but I recently finished it and ended up purchasing it to add to my ‘pick me up’ library which I always run to in times of ‘despair’ to refocus my thoughts and lift my spirit.
Because we are spiritual beings inhabiting a physical body and not the other way around, it is impossible for us rely on our thoughts alone to attain any sort of happiness or success in the way we’ve grown to understand the true meaning of those terms. While the brain controls the physical reality, the heart controls the sight unseen…it already knows what’s missing and what is needed—it already knows everything! If you’d prefer a more scientific point of view on the topic Spirit Science does a pretty darn good job of explaining it from that perspective.
What I love about MKMMA is that it addresses the right now issue which is the mind; and it teaches us to gain a greater awareness of it’s power. Once you get to a point where you are able or desire to go deeper than the mind, you find the heart. They’ve done a great job of sneaking it in here and there from day one by encouraging us to attach feelings to everything 🙂
So how do you listen to and hear what the heart is trying to share when the brain is usually so loud?!
In the sits…the quiet…meditation…silence.
I haven’t been able to do my 2-3 days of silence due to promises and commitments that I always keep, BUT believe me, I can’t wait to do so! It’s interesting to me that so many people don’t like to be alone and are sometimes even afraid of what it’ll be like to be absolutely by yourself. Personally, I love spending time with people and being social just as much as I enjoy being alone and having my ‘me time’. Anyway – since I still wanted to try and get as much silence in as I possibly could for the time being, I came up with a few tricks that have done wonders:
1. Put my phone on silent at all times outside of work hours.
This way, I’m not distracted from whatever I’m doing by the sounds or vibration of my phone—it can wait
2. Minimal use of other electronic devices
Little to no tv, computer, ipad, ipod, radio, you name it—other than what was necessary for work of course
3. Minimal social interaction
Spending very little time with actual people or communicating with them—again, excluding work
I basically unplugged from life as we know it which was surprisingly easy actually. The only difficult part for me was not having any music…I am a musicolic! I typically listen to music first thing in the morning, on the way to work, while I’m actually working, when I go to the gym, at social gatherings, and especially when I’m home getting chores and busy work done. The beautiful part was being so much more aware of the world around me when I’m not using music to tune it out…but what’s even more interesting is that I would often times end up making my own music by singing and tapping or the such throughout my days -it was quite amusing!
What I discovered during my silence:
-Music is my life 🙂
-I love my ‘me time’
-An idea for a new book!
-lots of health epiphanies…
But the #1 thing I had a huge awakening to was the fact that I do not completely trust and believe in myself. Ouch.
I’ve been moseying along our little journey relating everything to how I interact with and view the world. I think I’ve been doing a great job altering my thoughts and perspectives on the external world, but I haven’t done as thorough of an examination on my deeply internal world. I love and accept people just as they are with no judgement, but when it comes to myself, not so much. I doubt myself all the time and I’m most comfortable behind the scenes, but I’ve known for a while that that is not my destiny or mission in this life. I’ve been making excuses, wasting time and energy trying to focus on everyone and everything other than myself. I am supposed to do amazing, wondrous, phenomenal things in this world. It’s even difficult for me to sit here and type this without feeling egotistical, but I know this is spirit talking and not ego.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world, there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all mean to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in every one. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Coach Carter (Marianne Williamson: A Return to Love)
When I get this…it will be a game changer. When I break through this…I will emerge with power beyond measure.
I cannot fail. Failure doesn’t exist. And every win means that much more service to the world.
As I obtain the key to unlock the treasure in my chest, my world – our world, will blossom into its true beauty!
I’d like to close this post with my purpose statement from the bliss workshop I mentioned some weeks back. The more I evolve, the more it grows on me…the more I see it’s truth, the more I love it 🙂
I am the musical healing bright light of love who opens spirits with tears of transformation that dreams appreciation and collaboration of the imagination.
Love & more Love,